For many, family is what you are born into. I was born into a family with a loving mother and father, my brother was born into a family with a mother, father, and awesome big sister. ;) Family structure and dynamics are so different for everyone. For example, my husband grew up the youngest child of three with two older sisters. He grew up very close (in proximity and in relationship) to his grandparents and aunts and uncles, as well. Most of who I call my family (at least before marriage) is not even related to me. They are aunts and uncles and cousins that have turned into family members. (That's always a potentially awkward conversation. "Hey....will you be my aunt?")
When I was a kid, I used to envy people who had grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, family reunions. I would ask my parents why we didn't have those things. Then, when someone would get married or die and I was forced to be around the strangers who were related to me, I realized exactly why we didn't have family reunions and such. (Disclaimer: Some of them are great people that I simply never got to know well enough.) I am jealous of people who have relationships with their grandparents, and I cannot relate with the sadness and pain of having a grandparent die. Not to be cold-hearted, but my thoughts are generally, "Well, they are old, and they weren't your parents or anything." It's not that I don't care, but I do not, at all, understand the relationships people have with their families because I didn't have that.
As I got older, I learned that family is much more than relatives. I have SO many family members. It's unreal. I have married into a huge, loving, giving family. It's almost overwhelming. My immediate family is my dad and my brother. Chris' immediate family is his mom, dad, two sisters, each of their husbands, and 6 nieces and nephews. Whoa! I also married into an even larger family--the Army family.
Within the Army family, I have met some nice sisters, but most of them have moved away already. I know I will meet more and more of my Army family as I transition into my role as an FRG leader. Our husbands train together, they will deploy together, we will move and grow and deal with the commissary being shut down together. We understand staff duty and late nights. We understand missing our husbands (to an extent--I'm still new at this!). We understand the uncertainty of schedules, and we know just how frustrating it can be when our husbands are packing the night before going into the field. All of these things help us better relate to one another, and they bond us together on a level that most civilians do not understand.
My favorite family, however, is none of those. Sorry if you're in one of those categories....but you could be in this next one, too, so don't go off and cry just yet. My favorite family is my Christian family. My church family. Some of my family members, 'adopted' family, and Army family fit into this category. The Army family is big, yes, but the family I have as a believer in Christ is bigger. I feel more like I belong and more like I am a part of something wonderful when I remember that I am part of THIS family. We are more open, honest, and real with each other than any other family. We share our hearts, our stories, our passions, our fears, our gifts. We share the same savior. We share the same story of redemption regardless of how it is told or the details in between "I suck" and "But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us.."
Bottom line is this: I love my family. I am so grateful and blessed beyond measure to have been born again into a family of more than just a mom and a dad, more than just the family I gained through marriage, more than the family I gained through the Army. Thank you, Father, for loving your children and for calling us Yours!
