While You've Been Gone.

Most of my blog entries have meaning and purpose. This one is more just for me. Sorry for the late night greedy blogging. It has been a while since I've posted, and I'm due. Also, I want to remember how I spend my time while my husband is away (and we are childless) so I can look back on these times and see how things have changed.

Chris left last Friday morning for Cold Weather Leader Course (CWLC--because the Army loves acronyms). Everyone in his company had the day off because of bad winter weather, which means they got a 3-day weekend. He, however, had to be in bright and early to pick up his weapon and get on the bus. Thus began my alone-ness.

I have been searching for mistletoe to hang in our house for Christmas, but this town just has very limited options on just about anything you could look for or want. I was able to find a "kissing ball", and bought it the first day he was gone. It hasn't done me any good yet, so I don't know why I bought it, honestly. The day he left, I also bought yarn and knitting needles. I spent some time on YouTube learning how to knit. I got so wrapped up in my knitting that I didn't even want to leave the house for our church Christmas party that night, but I forced myself out. That's how old I am. Not really. I'm 26, but I felt like an 85 year old woman that night. Knit? Go to party? Knit? Go to party? It shouldn't have been a difficult decision, but I was busy throwing my own little knitting pity party for having to be alone. I was being very lame and ridiculous, obviously. After the Christmas party, I went with a friend and got my tragus pierced. It hurt really really badly. Ouch. I don't want to relive that anymore. Bottom line, I wanted to stay home and knit on a Friday night instead of going to a party. I went to church, then I left church and went to a tattoo parlor. Identity crisis much? This is a really boring post, and I'm dreadfully sorry if you are still reading. Feel free to be done with my pointless ramblings at any moment.

I also began reading a 500 page book. Well, the book is finished, and so is my first scarf. I'm sure you can take a stab at how I've been spending my alone time!

Some exciting things that have happened since Chris left:

• He borrowed someone's phone and called me, unexpectedly. 
• I have a new scarf.
• And a new piercing.
• Most of our SnapFish order arrived.
• I saw the Aurora Borealis really well for the first time.
• I went to North Pole, Alaska and met Santa.
• I ended up having girl talk until 4am with one of my new favorite people.
• I hung out with a new friend.

Some not-so exciting things that have happened since Chris left:

• The power has gone out for several hours. 
• Every item from our SnapFish order has my OLD last name on it--OOPS!
• I burnt my hand on our wood stove and sizzled off some skin.
• I have had a flat tire.
• I ate half of a squash for dinner (my appetite is weird and lame when he's away).
• I found out his company has not gone in to work 70% of the time he has been gone. 
• I have converted back to my insomniac ways (thus the 3am pointless blogging).

Another thing that has happened in the last week is that a friend challenged me to post random facts about mine and my husband's relationship. I never did that, so why not add them here.

1. I am a bigger football fan than he is.
2. Our first date was a shooting competition followed by steak dinner.
3. I cried every day for almost the entire first month of our marriage (moving to Alaska and not having a vehicle was hard--on top of adjusting to marriage and the Army!).
4. One of our first big newlywed fights was about pasta. HAHAHA!
5. I pick on Chris for having a spreadsheet for everything and doing complicated math problems for fun, but I secretly really like that about him.
6. We broke up right before Chris moved to Alaska because I was scared of how I felt for him, and it "didn't make sense" to be together. We didn't speak for over 2 months.
7. We were married less than 6 months when Chris lost his *second* wedding ring. I think it's funny.
8. Between meeting and getting married, we only lived in the same state for the first 2 months.
9. We were married for 99 days before our wedding.
10. We think about our future kids all the time. Both of us do--not just me! 

That's really all for now. I'll write a more meaningful post next. Promise. :)

Adoption

[If I actually keep this blog up over the years, this will more than likely be only the first of several adoption-related posts.]

Adoption is a word that has such depth of meaning every time I hear it. We all associate differently with this word...with this act. Some of you have been physically and legally adopted into a family here on this earth. For others, you may have been on the painful end of graciously giving your child up to be adopted by a family. Some of us have hearts for working in and for orphanages, and others may be feeling called to adopt. I know of people who have strong negative views on adoption because of pain they may have experienced through the process. What a range of emotions this word can cause!

Obviously (as with most things in life), I have my own opinions and thoughts about adoption, and I shared them with Chris the minute we started asking questions and weighing our potential future together. I knew that the man I would marry would need to support and come alongside my views on adoption, because it's more than a view--it's a calling by God Himself.

Every girl dreams of being a mother. I strongly believe that. For me, I started the silly little game of picking out names for my future children in middle school. (I don't like any of those names anymore, by the way, and, now, I have a husband that will actually play a part in what we do name them. I still throw names out to him at random to hear his thoughts, and we aren't trying to expand our family at the moment, either. Anyway...tangent over.) I did have one realization in middle school that has ALWAYS stuck. I don't want to adopt. I have to. When I was in seventh grade, God placed in my heart a passion for adoption that I cannot deny is from Him.

I obviously had several questions I wanted answered then, and some of them have been answered over time. When? From what country? How? What gender? How old?  ....WHY? Later, God revealed to me that I was to share the Gospel with a pregnant teen who was considering abortion, and that, through her decision to put the baby up for adoption, He would save more than just that child. I really feel that will be our baby. Who knew? God did. Before the beginning of creation! I hear so many people are called to adopt from other countries, and God has planned for us to adopt one from our own country. How cool is that? (We aren't looking yet into the process, but I hear it's a real doozie!)

The beauty of adoption is that it is a reflection of God's love for His people. Before He even knew me, He loved me. He adopted me. He called me HIS, and I became His daughter and part of an amazingly loving family.

Because adoption is so heavy on mine and my husband's hearts, we decided to start a tradition of adoption every year. We will soon begin researching different organizations and praying for clarity on where He wants our adoption focused over the next year. We may end up sending money to an orphanage in Haiti every month, we may be called to "adopt an organization" and donate monthly (ex: Children's Miracle Network, Teen Advisors, Wounded Warrior Project, St. Jude....), we may be called to sponsor a family who is in the process of raising funds for their own adoption. Who knows where God will lead us or how trying this may become for us financially. We are choosing to listen to and trust Him.

With the holidays around the corner, I would like to encourage you to pray over whether or not God is asking you to do something similar in 2014. I do know one thing: He wants us serving and loving others. Ask Him specifically how or where He wants you doing just that.

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." James 1:27

Family Ties

For many, family is what you are born into. I was born into a family with a loving mother and father, my brother was born into a family with a mother, father, and awesome big sister. ;) Family structure and dynamics are so different for everyone. For example, my husband grew up the youngest child of three with two older sisters. He grew up very close (in proximity and in relationship) to his grandparents and aunts and uncles, as well. Most of who I call my family (at least before marriage) is not even related to me. They are aunts and uncles and cousins that have turned into family members. (That's always a potentially awkward conversation. "Hey....will you be my aunt?")

When I was a kid, I used to envy people who had grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, family reunions. I would ask my parents why we didn't have those things. Then, when someone would get married or die and I was forced to be around the strangers who were related to me, I realized exactly why we didn't have family reunions and such. (Disclaimer: Some of them are great people that I simply never got to know well enough.) I am jealous of people who have relationships with their grandparents, and I cannot relate with the sadness and pain of having a grandparent die. Not to be cold-hearted, but my thoughts are generally, "Well, they are old, and they weren't your parents or anything." It's not that I don't care, but I do not, at all, understand the relationships people have with their families because I didn't have that.

As I got older, I learned that family is much more than relatives. I have SO many family members. It's unreal. I have married into a huge, loving, giving family. It's almost overwhelming. My immediate family is my dad and my brother. Chris' immediate family is his mom, dad, two sisters, each of their husbands, and 6 nieces and nephews. Whoa! I also married into an even larger family--the Army family.

Within the Army family, I have met some nice sisters, but most of them have moved away already. I know I will meet more and more of my Army family as I transition into my role as an FRG leader. Our husbands train together, they will deploy together, we will move and grow and deal with the commissary being shut down together. We understand staff duty and late nights. We understand missing our husbands (to an extent--I'm still new at this!). We understand the uncertainty of schedules, and we know just how frustrating it can be when our husbands are packing the night before going into the field. All of these things help us better relate to one another, and they bond us together on a level that most civilians do not understand.

My favorite family, however, is none of those. Sorry if you're in one of those categories....but you could be in this next one, too, so don't go off and cry just yet. My favorite family is my Christian family. My church family. Some of my family members, 'adopted' family, and Army family fit into this category. The Army family is big, yes, but the family I have as a believer in Christ is bigger. I feel more like I belong and more like I am a part of something wonderful when I remember that I am part of THIS family. We are more open, honest, and real with each other than any other family. We share our hearts, our stories, our passions, our fears, our gifts. We share the same savior. We share the same story of redemption regardless of how it is told or the details in between "I suck" and "But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us.."

Bottom line is this: I love my family. I am so grateful and blessed beyond measure to have been born again into a family of more than just a mom and a dad, more than just the family I gained through marriage, more than the family I gained through the Army. Thank you, Father, for loving your children and for calling us Yours!

Aloe and Army

The Army lifestyle is still so new to me. I am learning more and more about myself as I discover more about the Army and have "firsts" as an Army wife. There have been several firsts so far, and there are many to come! I made my first out-of-state move. We went to our first brigade ball together. We experienced field training exercises (FTX) for the first time as a married couple. We have had staff duty dates, and I went to my first ceremony for him. I made my first military spouse friend AS a military spouse.

When Chris and I first got married, we only had one vehicle. That meant I was 'stranded' at the house most days. When Chris' platoon sergeant's wife heard I was at the house alone (and newly married and in a brand new state) without a vehicle, she quickly found me on Facebook and messaged me. She decided she would welcome me to the Army by coming to my rescue. Brooke knew little to nothing about me, my interests, my heart...but she cared about me, because, like her, I am an Army wife. I went with her on her grocery errands, then we went to lunch together with her almost three year old. Did I mention Chris and I had just gotten married? Well, we had. But, what we hadn't done yet was get me a debit card. I had NO money to pay for lunch. She ended up picking up two T(t)abs that day....oops!

Not only was Brooke the first person to make me feel welcome here, she was also the first Army friend I have had PCS on me. She is now back down in the lower 48, and I'm somewhat jealous of that. While she and I did not have every little thing in common, she taught me a lot about being a wife, a mother, and a supporter of the US Army. We also didn't hang out or get to know each other as much as I would have liked to. Those few months really crept up on us, but I am so far beyond grateful for her friendship. A few days before she left, I went to her house to say goodbye. There were boxes everywhere, and it all became so real. This is what it's like every three years or so in this lifestyle--they give you some papers and pack up all your stuff. She gave me some items the movers couldn't pack, and, with a hug, smile, and some last-minute marriage advice, that was that.

She gave us her aloe plant. It sounds stupid, but that plant represents a lot to me. It represents growing friendship. It represents reaching out to someone you don't even know. When you have a hurt, you can tear a piece off the plant and rub it on a cut or burn, and that reminds me that the relationships I have and will make in the Army will always be beneficial regardless of the pain. It also reminds me that I have been given a gift, and that I can pass that down to the next lonely, new Army wife, and I cannot help but wonder who I will leave the same aloe plant with two years from now.

God has us just where we are for a reason. Nothing is a mistake. Make memories. Reach out to people. Look through their eyes and into their hearts. Use this opportunity while you have it, because you may not have it long. Realize your blessings and be grateful for them.

In the past 5 years...

I cannot believe that tomorrow (24 August 2013) will be five years since my mom went Home. Five years! I still remember promising her that I would be holding her hand walking her straight up to Heaven's gates when the time came. I still remember keeping that promise. I was at her bedside on her right, Jeff on her left, and Dad at her feet. The room was filled with the faces of angels--our family and friends from church literally singing praises all around us as her spirit took flight out of this world. I remember going numb. I had a couple days to prepare for it, but nothing can prepare you for losing your mother, best friend, role model. I remember running through the crowd of people in her room as my heart began to swell up in my throat. I flung the door open, darted down the hallway, and found a spot on the wall to slide down--just in time for the tears to flood out.

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THAT MOMENT.

I graduated college.

Kennesaw State University B.S. in Psychology

A couple times.

Columbus State University M.Ed in School Counseling

I counseled children.
I tried new things.

I made stupid decisions.
I gained and lost friends.
I ate a lot of Thai food.

I got 2 new tattoos.

I started doing yoga

and I've been to lots of Braves games

I got engaged.

Crouch N Crase Photography

And married.

I moved to Alaska. Can you believe that?!

We got to have a real wedding!

We honeymooned in Jamaica.

snorkeling

As you can see, so, so much has happened and changed in your little girl's life since you've been gone. You gave me life on this earth, but the One who has given us eternal life is all around and is living inside me. Thank you for your example of how to live every day to its fullest. Thank you for your silly sayings. I find myself getting more and more like you. I am excellent at finding bargains, and I know you would be proud. I've become a good cook--at least that's what Chris says. Mom--you would love him! He is so patient and kind and hard-working. He is adventurous. You two would have really hit it off. You two never met each other, but he knows you through the stories I tell and through my heart. Even he misses you, and it breaks my heart. He wishes he could have met you. Dad and Jeff are doing well. I think they wish I were closer to home, even though Jeff would never say so. You would be so amazed at how much Dad has broken out of his shell. He is like a whole new man, and God has really impacted others through their interaction with him. It's still hard to talk to him about girl things, but I have been given an excellent mother-in-law and two sister-in-laws. They are great! I miss you. I think about you every day.

All these things that have happened since you've been gone....at one point, I felt like they could never happen--like you were supposed to be there for all of them or else they couldn't happen (except the honeymoon. that would be super weird!). But, they did happen, and so will the next big adventures. Life doesn't have to stop because you're gone, and it hasn't. I know there are more times to come that I will feel like you have to be there for, but God gives us just what we need to get by and then some. He continues to comfort me through the years, and He has blessed me tremendously. We miss you so much and cannot wait to worship Him forever with you, but we will enjoy living this life every day until we get there. Thank you for the example you set of a Christian wife, mother, and friend. Oh, and we're going out shopping for deals and eating Italian tomorrow in your memory!

I am forever your Punkin Doodle.
I love you, Mom.

Who am I?

Each of us have so many labels. Some of them are given by others, some by society, some by geographic location, physical appearance, up-bringing, sports team affiliation, which hand we write with....the list could go on and on forever. We even have some labels we give to ourselves. Some of my labels are Army wife, daughter, sister, friend, Southerner, former athlete, meat-eater, brunette, perfectionist, and many, many other things. These labels tell people about me, but my favorite label I have been given...well, it actually isn't about me at all, and I wasn't given it by society. I did not choose this label. I have this label because someone chose me.

Redeemed.

Yep. That's right. My favorite label was given to me by Christ because of who HE is, and, really, that is who I want to be. That is the thing I want to represent. That is what I want people to see in me. Not that I have brown hair or glasses, and not that I know more about football than 95% of the men who live in Alaska. I don't want to be known for what my husband does. I want to be known by what Christ did for me. He lived the life I could not live, died the death I deserved, and conquered sin and death. He paid my way and set me free!

For me, these Bible verses about redemption were written on my brain at a very early age. I was constantly memorizing scripture for class and for Sunday school. I was the good little "Christian" girl with all the right answers. Man....I. Was. Good. I did the church thing methodically (and that's not just a play on words because I was raised Methodist). Even once I got to college, I went to church because that was what I knew. It felt good to praise and worship the God I knew made me and died for me. It felt good to fellowship with other people my age who knew all the same songs and verses as I did. It felt comfortable to continue going through the motions, because it made sense to me. How could it not make sense? I mean--hello! It's what I was told for 20 years. Of course it made sense. And there my religion was. In my head and in my actions.

Just before I turned 21, my mom passed away of cancer after only battling for 8 short months. During her battle, God told me she would be okay. How stupid of me to believe Him, right? Okay? She's not okay--she's dead! Oh, I was furious. I was confused. I was scared and hurt. I half-way turned to all the Bible verses on comfort I knew, and the other half turned toward comfort in my newly acquired legal fun. (I know my dad is probably going to read this, and he may be ashamed of me, but there has to be darkness for the brilliance of the Light to be made known!) I cannot tell you the moment when all of my years of head-knowledge and going through the motions finally hit my heart, because, honestly, it didn't really happen that way. I can, however, tell you the exact moment God took my head-knowledge and slowly, lovingly, started kneading it into my heart. It started one Sunday morning when I was 7 minutes late to church. I felt like death and probably smelled like a brewery. I sat there in the pew thinking, "After last night, I can't believe I'm only 7 minutes late. I'm so proud of myself! I'm so...what? I'm proud of myself??? For what?! Are you serious right now?"

After that moment, God has been working my heart. When I read scripture, hear the testimonies of my new brothers and sisters, sing praises.....it stirs my soul! The news of the Gospel causes me to cry. It makes me speechless. It makes me marvel at who God is and what He has done! I still battle with my flesh and my selfishness every single day, whether it's with pride, laziness, ungratefulness..the list could continue, but God has mercy and love that we cannot fathom. He has redeemed me.

The day I was baptized

Ephesians 2: 1-10
"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience--among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and we were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ--by grace you have been saved--and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

looking forward to

My friend, Elisa, and I thought it would be fun to start a blog challenge. This challenge consists of determining topics we would like to write about, writing about them, and comparing our similarities, differences, and different perspectives or interpretations of that topic. I'm very excited about this, because I will be learning more about the heart and mind of my dear friend as this challenge unfolds. 

Ok, I won't delay any longer. The first topic is "something you are looking forward to", and, without hesitation, I knew what I would want to write about. As I thought more about it over the past day or so, I thought it may be wise to change my "what I'm looking forward to", because I didn't want people giving me a hard time or putting their opinion out there, but--whatever. This is something that is special to me, and it has been for as long as I can remember. Fiiiine. I'll say it...geesh! I'm looking forward to starting a family. 

Chris and I did just get married, and we are very much still getting to know each other. We are finding new things every day that we admire and respect about each other, and we also, occasionally, find things about each other (and ourselves!) that require more work and patience. I'm not going to get into family planning here. That is between me and him, but it is also entirely based on God's perfect timing and plan for our future and for our family. 

When I was a little girl, I was given a babydoll. Her name was Courtney, and she went everywhere with me. I dragged her around by her arms and legs, and she had several emergency surgeries to re-attach her limbs (thanks, Mom!). She has been chewed on by dogs, has had her head frozen, has had food shoved into her mouth. Needless to say, I pray I'm nothing like the mom I was when I was 3 years old! But, nurturing....that's what women are born with. We want to love and care for, and we want to be loved in return. We want to know we are important, and we want to feel needed. When my brother was born, I was practically glued to my mom's side "helping" her with everything. I'm sure I was just getting in the way, but I was very proud of my earned nickname "Mommy #2". 

There are so many reasons I look forward to being a mother, and I know it is a TON of responsibility, but...wow. I mean. Just wow. There is so much beauty in a family who is seeking Christ and seeking to demonstrate the goodness of Christ to their children. There are so many things I look forward to with my future family. I look forward to reading bedtime stories. I look forward to hearing them laugh. I look forward to making homemade lemonade in the summers and peeking out the window to watch my husband wrestling with them in the yard. I look forward to developing family traditions, and also to passing down existing ones. I look forward to all of this and so much more. 

One of the main reasons I look forward to being a mom sounds really simple. I look forward to being a mom because it means my husband has become a father. I know that is something he very much desires, and I cannot wait (well, I can wait...it's just an expression) to bring him that joy. You should see the look in his eyes when he plays with our nieces and nephews. It's amazing, and I will get to see that look every day he is home with us. He will teach them so many amazing qualities without even knowing it, because they will be watching him and learning from one of the best. He will make ridiculous faces at them, and he will sing them silly songs. He will show them what it means to love a woman and how a woman should be treated. 

God knows the plan for our family, and His plan is good and will be made known at the exactly the right time. In the mean time, we will work on being a better uncle and aunt to six pretty stellar kiddos who live wayyy too far away, and we will repeat the funny things they say to us months later just to get a good laugh. Those kids are awesome, but we don't have to change diapers, and we can give them back when they cry, which is a pretty sweet deal for now, if you ask me! 

        Billy: "Ohhh....I saw that!"

        Logan: "Billy, when you get a girlfriend, you'll kiss her, too. It's not a big deal!"

        Alivia: "Uncle Chris wants to marry you--that's the secret."

        Caitlin: "I thought the whole Army got into a spaceship to go to Alaska."

        Shelby: "Can I visit Uncle Chris and Aunt Tabitha in Alastica?"

        Blake: [insert cute baby noises and blowing us kisses]

On our wedding day with our six nephews and nieces

For my friends reading this who are on their way to becoming parents, I am so thrilled for you. What a privilege and a joy to bring a life into the world or to add to your family through adoption. I pray prayers of blessing over you, and I pray that you live in a way that demonstrates God's love to your children. I pray that you will seek Him as a family and that you see His blessings in every situation.

Blessings

This past Wednesday, I was pretty convicted of some sins I have been struggling with the past few months. We were talking about blessings in our small group. What are blessings? How can we bless others? How do you define blessing? What are things in your life that are blessings that you may not see as such? Man. That last question really got me. I have been so....grumbly lately. I have been beyond blessed these past 4 months, but I seem to only be harping on the things I consider to be so negative, and those negative things are worldly! UGH. I hate my sin nature. I hate complaining about all the things I can't do and all the stuff I don't have.

I am definitely a product of The South. I love being a Southern girl, and I love what comes with that. I have been raised in a very humid climate, and now I am living in one of the driest places on the planet. Instead of being thankful for being away from the humidity, I complain about how much I miss it and about how dry it is here. I grew up watching the Braves, and, since I've been older, I have gone to several Braves games a year. I miss Turner Field. I miss going to Braves games on a whim. I miss taking day trips with my friends to The Ted and chopping til we drop. Another passion of mine is UGA football. Now that we are in kickoff month, I cannot help but want to be in Athens or want to get together with friends and family to watch the games. I have been watching Georgia football games with my dad since I was 5 days old. He taught me how to say "Go Dawgs!". I am complaining that I will have to watch the noon games at 8am Alaska time....why am I so ungrateful?

Instead of being thankful for this great adventure, I find myself almost looking for ways to compare it to "back home". Come on, Tab. Alaska is your home now. Where God sends you is home. Where you and your husband are--that is home. Sure, my heart will always long for The South and my comfort there, but Paul wrote from jail that he has learned to be content whatever the circumstances. And I cannot find a way to be content and excited for my new life in Alaska? That's garbage. This is SUCH an opportunity to grow in so many ways, but to also not keep it all to myself. This Army way of life is an opportunity to love greatly and witness boldly...to practice patience and faithfulness and resiliency...to impact the lives of others for The Gospel. Ha. And I'm complaining because why?? We hiked to a glacier on Saturday, and I found myself occasionally wondering the score of the Braves game instead of worshiping and being in complete awe of the works of my Creator. Umm--ALASKA IS BEAUTIFUL, AND MY GOD IS EVEN MORE LOVELY THAN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LANDSCAPE!

While I was struggling with this whole complaining thing, my husband asked me to help him with some shingling up on the roof last night. I grumbled to myself and put it off for a few minutes thinking, "I really just want to blog about how blessed I really am, and he wants me to help with the stupid roof..." Wow. Reality check! So, there I went, up to the roof. I was prepping the shingles so Chris could lay them (we are a great team). The first part of my time, I mumbled under my breath about how awful shingle prep was and how much I hated it.....then God lovingly slapped me across the face and said, "WAKE UP, TABITHA. I HAVE PROVIDED YOU WITH A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD. PREP THE DANG SHINGLES!" Ok, so maybe those weren't His words exactly, but close enough. Boom. That finally did it. Ha. I can be so stubborn. What a sinful fool to complain about working on our roof when there are people all over the world who will never sleep under a roof a day in their lives.

God, thank you for my blessings. Thank you for the adventure of marriage. Thank you for the adventure of Alaska. Thank you for your creation. Thank you for loving me despite my sin nature, and thank you for seeing me through the cleansing blood of your Son. (And thank you for allowing me to be born in The South and that my baseball and football teams are awesome!) 

It's a virtue

There are many things in life that I am not good at. For instance, quantum physics, refilling the car before the gas light comes on, remembering to close the cabinets, soccer (and the list continues). If anyone knows me, they also know that patience is not a strong skill of mine, and it is something I fail at time and time again. Patience. Just hearing that word makes me shudder and drop my head in shame. I. Suck. At. Showing. Patience. Sure, it would be awesome if I worked on it and got better at it, but how does a person just "work on" patience? <--a question I have asked my husband. I mean, really. Am I just supposed to pray really hard then go drive myself into a traffic jam? Or should I practice deep breathing before standing in line at Walmart?

We planted grass (from seeds...wow) in our front yard, and I asked Chris every day when our grass would start growing. When it finally DID start growing, I asked him why it was so patchy and how long it would take to fill in. We also planted a garden (if you cannot tell, this planting thing has been a process in itself for me!), and, now that our veggies are  starting to produce, I want to run out and grab every orange tomato off the vine.....before it turns red. Horrible. I know.

Anyway, all this to say, God has blessed me with the absolute most patient man as my husband. (And I will be the first to tell you, I do not make it easy for him.) Chris is so mild-tempered and humble while also being the most passionate and adventurous person I have ever met. I admire him so much for those qualities. When people ask me how married life is, I am honest  with them. I tell them it isn't easy putting someone else's needs above your own; it isn't easy sharing your personal space with someone all the time; it isn't easy learning how to best communicate; I tell them it is SO worth it. I also like to say that I have learned a lot about patience in the 3 months we have been married....because Chris demonstrates it to me daily.

Now, marriage between a Christian man and woman is to be a reflection of the marriage of Christ and His church. When I think about how patient my husband is toward me, I cannot help but be immediately pointed to Christ. If anyone has shown me patience, it is Him! I couldn't count the number of times I have tried to rush God or His plans, the times I have questioned Him, the times I have been angry because I want things exactly how and when I want them....and that look my husband gives me--that look of grace and compassion and love when I'm being a little brat--that look from him is nothing of the depth of patience, love, and grace in Christ's eyes. (And I've been testing HIS patience many, many years longer than I have been testing my husband's!)

It is amazing that God gives us such blessings here on earth that only demonstrate a tiiiiny fraction of His abounding love for us. When being shown patience feels this amazing, how can I not seek to demonstrate it toward others?

welcome to blog life

My dad has been telling me for a few years now that I should start a blog, and I finally decided to jump in. 

There is so much beauty, mystery, adventure, and love while passing through this life, and it deserves to be shared because it points to a life even greater and a love unfathomable. Hang tight with me as we join in on this adventure together, but remember that we are only passing through.