Who am I?

Each of us have so many labels. Some of them are given by others, some by society, some by geographic location, physical appearance, up-bringing, sports team affiliation, which hand we write with....the list could go on and on forever. We even have some labels we give to ourselves. Some of my labels are Army wife, daughter, sister, friend, Southerner, former athlete, meat-eater, brunette, perfectionist, and many, many other things. These labels tell people about me, but my favorite label I have been given...well, it actually isn't about me at all, and I wasn't given it by society. I did not choose this label. I have this label because someone chose me.

Redeemed.

Yep. That's right. My favorite label was given to me by Christ because of who HE is, and, really, that is who I want to be. That is the thing I want to represent. That is what I want people to see in me. Not that I have brown hair or glasses, and not that I know more about football than 95% of the men who live in Alaska. I don't want to be known for what my husband does. I want to be known by what Christ did for me. He lived the life I could not live, died the death I deserved, and conquered sin and death. He paid my way and set me free!

For me, these Bible verses about redemption were written on my brain at a very early age. I was constantly memorizing scripture for class and for Sunday school. I was the good little "Christian" girl with all the right answers. Man....I. Was. Good. I did the church thing methodically (and that's not just a play on words because I was raised Methodist). Even once I got to college, I went to church because that was what I knew. It felt good to praise and worship the God I knew made me and died for me. It felt good to fellowship with other people my age who knew all the same songs and verses as I did. It felt comfortable to continue going through the motions, because it made sense to me. How could it not make sense? I mean--hello! It's what I was told for 20 years. Of course it made sense. And there my religion was. In my head and in my actions.

Just before I turned 21, my mom passed away of cancer after only battling for 8 short months. During her battle, God told me she would be okay. How stupid of me to believe Him, right? Okay? She's not okay--she's dead! Oh, I was furious. I was confused. I was scared and hurt. I half-way turned to all the Bible verses on comfort I knew, and the other half turned toward comfort in my newly acquired legal fun. (I know my dad is probably going to read this, and he may be ashamed of me, but there has to be darkness for the brilliance of the Light to be made known!) I cannot tell you the moment when all of my years of head-knowledge and going through the motions finally hit my heart, because, honestly, it didn't really happen that way. I can, however, tell you the exact moment God took my head-knowledge and slowly, lovingly, started kneading it into my heart. It started one Sunday morning when I was 7 minutes late to church. I felt like death and probably smelled like a brewery. I sat there in the pew thinking, "After last night, I can't believe I'm only 7 minutes late. I'm so proud of myself! I'm so...what? I'm proud of myself??? For what?! Are you serious right now?"

After that moment, God has been working my heart. When I read scripture, hear the testimonies of my new brothers and sisters, sing praises.....it stirs my soul! The news of the Gospel causes me to cry. It makes me speechless. It makes me marvel at who God is and what He has done! I still battle with my flesh and my selfishness every single day, whether it's with pride, laziness, ungratefulness..the list could continue, but God has mercy and love that we cannot fathom. He has redeemed me.

The day I was baptized

Ephesians 2: 1-10
"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience--among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and we were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ--by grace you have been saved--and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."